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5 Ways To Snag A Unicorn for Your Threesome

Group SexSwinging

Unicorn: A single woman interested in sex with couples.

Are you a couple thinking about having a threesome with a Unicorn (a single woman who has sex with couples)?

Maybe you’ve watched threesome porn together or thought about going to a sex club or putting up an ad online to find a third. If you’ve ever rubbed or buzzed one out to threesome fantasies, you’ll want to read on.

As a card carrying Unicorn, I enjoy being a part of the affection of a couple and hottness of a threesome, but getting to the hottness can be challenging. Lemme help you out Unicorn-seeking Couples….

Here are 5 Ways to Snag a Unicorn:

1.  Decide what you want and like before nekkid time.

Dirty talking about a third during sex is a lot different than unpacking the logistics and emotions that need to be in place for a hot threesome in reality. Talk to your partner about what turns you on about adding another woman into your twosome. If it’s your first time having group sex, check out my Top 5 Myths About Group Sex and 3 Awkward Threesome Moments.

Discuss:

  • What kinds of scenes do you fantasize about with more than two women present?
  • What kinds of things do you want this sexy trio to do?
  • What are your buzz kills? (things that aren’t hard limits, but don’t make you go splooooosh)
  • What kind of unicorn are you looking for? (e.g. bisexual, kinky, dominant/submissive, sensual etc.)
  • Is there anything that makes you nervous? (e.g. jealousy, performance anxiety, body insecurity, a giant zit etc.)
  • Use communication as your first lube of the night.

2.  Go to Unicorn Night at Oasis Aqualounge

Oasis Aqualounge is a water themed adult playground in downtown Toronto. The beautiful venue and awesome staff create a clothing-optional environment where you can choose to explore your sexuality. Unicorn Night is where couples and single females mingle to make some hot magic happen. It’s a busy, flirty and friendly evening that happens once a month.

Oasis is a fantastic place for couples and Unicorns mingling because it is blooming with social spaces to mingle nude and semi-nude. Unlike other clubs that have a dance floor/club area and then a separate play area, Oasis’s layout and spa facilities (e.g. hot tub, sauna and heated outdoor pool!) create nooks and crannies that feel welcoming, friendly and way less awkward than your eighth grade dance.

There is no pressure to get involved – you may decide to go for an evening to be voyeurs or exhibitionists or have same room sex as other groups or even just to mingle in lingerie and a towel, building up your confidence as sexy Unicorn Hunters. (Check out my lovely, sexy friend Red Hot Suz’s first time at Oasis Aqualounge’s Unicorn Night.

Getting out into the community isn’t a guarantee you’ll attract a unicorn for your threesome magic – but it does make you more visible in the community. Get out, meet people who have similar interests to you and talk to other couples. Increase your feeling of belonging in a space where you can potentially actualize your fantasies. #GoGoUnicornHunters

3.  Engage, instead of objectifying, your Unicorn

I’ve had couples make me feel like an object from the moment they approached me.

While the attention can be flattering for an elusive sexual partner like a Unicorn, it can also make you feel like a stunt vagina. Some Unicorns may really enjoy just being an extra body for the carnal, primal heat of it. Many Unicorns want to feel sexually stimulated in mind and body, regardless if it’s for one-night or on-going.

The desire of a couple has felt hottest for me when I have felt the seductive and flirty vibes from both partners and the peripheral high of their excitement to be doing this with each other. The most un-hottest Unicorn experiences I’ve had are where the couple is dealing with an insecurity they are either unaware of or ignoring. This usually manifests itself in a constant reinforcement from them of my place as an outsider in their relationship.

Engaging a Unicorn doesn’t mean you want her permanently in the emotional sacredness of your relationship. It acknowledges her as an active participant in the threesome. It elevates her desires to the level of importance as yours. And it makes everyone feel luscious as fuck.

4.  Be champions of Other People’s Pleasure (OPP)

Be a generous giver of pleasure.

How do you know what makes your unicorn feel good? Communicate curiously.

I’m a huge proponent of OPP for group sex, and sex in general. Couples can often get caught up in their fantasy of a Unicorn and forget that said Unicorn isn’t a fantasy, she’s a real person with needs, desires and kinks of her own. It’s not only the desires, expectations and style of the couple that matters. Learn about the Unicorns you are approaching or who approach you by being curious.

Work these questions into conversation:

  • What turns you on?
  • How do you like to be touched?
  • Do you like [insert sexy thing here]?
  • I really like to eat ass/kiss/snuggle/give oral/receive massages, how about you?
  • We’ve had a fantasy of another woman joining us for a long time ever since we started dirty talking about it, what made you curious about being a Unicorn?
  • We really like it when everyone takes a turn being the center of attention. If you were at the centre of our attention right now, what sexy things would you like us to do to you?
  • My partner is a really loud moaner when they get super aroused, what do you sound and look like when you’re really turned on?
  • We know that not every unicorn is bisexual, how do you like to play with each person in a couple?

Look. Listen. Learn. Group sex means more bodies and more emotions. You aren’t responsible for OPP, but you are responsible for contributing to an environment where OPP is paramount. Make it safe for people to have the kind of sex they want in your fantasy.

5.  Cultivate Consent

Consent should be on-going, enthusiastic and clear. Consent isn’t just the absence of an outright ‘No’. For many threesomes, you are all relatively new to each other and haven’t yet learned what it looks like, sounds like and feels like when your partners are having a good time.

If you are lucky enough to charm a Unicorn into your bed, continue with OPP during your threesome. Make her feel welcome, desired and continually engage her in consent regularly throughout your sexy time.  Making assumptions about what’s pleasureable for someone is not only not-cool, but also makes a Unicorn get her guard up having to watch as you continually test her boundaries instead of asking.

  • Check your assumptions by asking questions. Is your Unicorn bisexual? What does her bisexuality look like in a threesome? What does her bisexuality look like with you two?
  • What are your Unicorn’s hard limits? Things that are completely off the table.
  • What are your Unicorn’s buzz kills? Things that kill the mood for her.
  • Does your Unicorn have a safe word she wants to use?
  • Is there anything in your dynamic as a couple that may trigger the Unicorn? Discuss kinks and fetishes ahead of time. Even if your Unicorn won’t participate in them, ask about consent for being a voyeur to it.
  • Is there anything physically or emotionally going on for your Unicorn that you need to be aware of to make the threesome safe, pleasureable and consensual for all?

Get your Unicorn game on folks. Happy Humping.

Never had group sex before? Want to learn skills for navigating threesomes, swingers scene, sex clubs and more? Check out my upcoming workshops or book a home workshop.

Are you a Unicorn and want to meet other Goddesses like yourself? Follow me on FB or Twitter  or say hi to me at an event!

Are you a Unicorn or a Unicorn Hunting Couple? Comment below and tell me your tips for having a successful threesome.

Comments

HC Commented On June 16, 2016 at 5:58pm

I’ve been on both sides of the threesome world and most recently was a long term unicorn to a married couple. I have to agree that communication is key. And that has to happen upfront. Luckily we had been friends for a while (actually the wife and I had been friends for years and had been intimate in the last before her marriage) so communication wasn’t awkward and we all were very clear about what we wanted and needed. And we just went into as just three people having fun and enjoying each other.


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    luna Commented On June 17, 2016 at 3:18am

    Thanks for sharing HC – your experience on both sides is insightful! It’s amazing when all partners are able to be clear about what they want and needed. In my workshops, I teach people how to take a step back or create space for someone to take a step back and figure out what those things even look like and how to express them. I know I have taken for granted being self-aware and open, and even I have been at a loss for words at a time where I wanted to speak up. So glad you are having fun!! 🙂


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Meredith Commented On November 1, 2016 at 5:29pm

We are a unicorn hunting couple but really don’t even know where to begin. I love being with both a man and a woman and love to pleasure and be pleasure by both. We live in Florida any suggestions on where we should go?


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    luna Commented On November 2, 2016 at 7:23pm

    Hi Meredith! Glad you reached out, I love helping couples make their unicorn dreams come true! 😊 I do Skype consultations with couples to build your skills in communication, negotiation and how to not only find unicorns but be the kind of couple that unicorns love to play with. Send me and email and I’ll provide you some one on one workshop options with me!


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Lauren Rynne Commented On November 15, 2016 at 5:29pm

Mixed couple looking for a beautiful unicorn in chicago. We have been looking for some time but I don’t think we’re looking in the right places. Being in the city with so many sexually oriented people can be intimidating. We just want Bi sexual girl who likes to have fun sometimes.


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    luna Commented On November 24, 2016 at 1:57am

    Hi Lauren! Glad you reached out, I love helping couples make their unicorn dreams come true! 😊 I do Skype consultations with couples to build your skills in communication, negotiation and how to not only find unicorns, but how to be the kind of couple that unicorns love to play with. Send me and email and I’ll provide you some one on one workshop options with me!


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      Janeece Commented On March 13, 2017 at 5:46pm

      Yo&2a8230;#re…myu#8&30;hero!!! I cant believe something like this exists on the internet! Its so true, so honest, and more than that you dont sound like an idiot! Finally, someone who knows how to talk about a subject without sounding like a kid who didnt get that bike he wanted for Christmas.


      Reply

Celest Commented On December 5, 2016 at 4:06am

What a fantastic article. Thank you! Lots of great advice and info.
I desperately want to add a woman to my marriage and have felt this way for 3 years. My husband is extremely reluctant. Do I continue trying to make him realize I feel my life is incomplete or I abandon this 8 year relationship?
Back story… He was my first monogamous relationship. I gave up women and other men to be with him. But now all these years later I realize that may have been a mistake. I love him and I don’t want to be without him but I’m beginning to resent him due to the lack of female intimate companionship.


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    luna Commented On December 15, 2016 at 8:33pm

    Hi Celest! Thank you for the warm feedback – so glad the article had good info for you. Your situation sounds intense and like there are lots of emotions, desires and dynamics at play. It can be tough to unpack all of these things to get to where you want to be with your sexuality and with your relationship. I’m glad you reached out – I love helping couples explore their threesome dreams. I do Skype consultations with couples to build your skills in communication and negotiation, and how to navigate the threesome-world. Please email me so we can see if it would help you two to chat with me.


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Shiela Commented On December 18, 2016 at 4:41pm

Great article. I found out I am a unicorn when a couple took me home one night but sadly I found out quickly they were in a broken relationship. I should have done my research before hand and this article would have helped me pin point what was off in the group right away. Communication is the truest key = don’t lie to your unicorn. And truly be ready for that unicorn when she comes along.


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    luna Commented On December 29, 2016 at 2:33am

    Hi Shiela, thanks for commenting. I’m sorry you had a crappy experience with a couple. Unfortunately it’s so common as communication skills in these situations aren’t natural – we usually don’t have prior situations to help guide us through our kinky and sexy adventures. I totally agree – nobody should be lying to anyone!


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Shiela Commented On January 3, 2017 at 4:37am

i loved every moment of it and do not regret it at all. Now I know who I am and I always learn best when thrown in the deep end anyway. At least I can help others along the way.


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Jonathan Commented On January 5, 2017 at 3:16am

Hi! The article was very informative. My wife and I have been seeking a unicorn for nearly a year now. We have an awesome relationship mentally, emotionally, and sexually. We want a mutually fulfilling, ongoing experience for all 3 of us… We are professionals and have kids so we are trying to find a great companion in a discreet way. Any suggestions on how to accomplish this?


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    luna Commented On January 5, 2017 at 5:04am

    Hey Jonathan! So happy you found the article on threesomes helpful. Very exciting that you and your wife are searching for a unicorn and you sound very confident in your relationship! I think it’s already a great sign that you’re concerned about all three people’s pleasure. For sure other articles on here like Top 5 Myths About Group Sex and 3 Awkward Threesome Moments and How to Deal.

    If you’d like more personalized attention, I offer consults to couples who are looking to add a third. You can send me an email to get a discussion started. I consult based on your needs, location and preferences for what you want your experience to be like. You may also select topics from my How to Have a Threesome workshop if you’re not able to attend in person, to work with. Hope to help you on this sexy adventure!


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Alaina Marie AKA Midge Commented On January 8, 2017 at 6:31am

We had the pleasure of having a wonderful unicorn in our life. It started out as a fluke deal that turned out to be friendship that turned out to be a bond that can never be replaced. We had her in our life for almost 3 wonderful years. Her and I had a bond like no other. She was my Barbie as I was her Midge. our Family grew to love her like she had been with us our whole life. She had seen us at our best times and at our worst times. She added so much spark and laughter into our lives. And was always the life of the party. But on August 4th 2016 our lives were changed forever! Our unicorn was killed in a car accident. I had just gotten home from work it was 12:54 am. I noticed I had a Facebook message from our unicorns mom. I didn’t know what it was about but I new it couldn’t be good. Just typing this i am sobbing. I miss my Best friend so much. We had a bond like no other.. Who would have thought we could create such feeling for a person that I shared not only my man with but my whole world with.


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Jupiter's Slut Commented On January 9, 2017 at 7:05pm

Brilliant, thank you. Especially for number five.


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InvisibleFriend Commented On January 26, 2017 at 11:50pm

We are on Long Island ny couple .. and looking for an amazing partner to share life and fun with ?


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    luna Commented On January 27, 2017 at 4:26am

    Hi Long Island couple! Sounds like you want to invite a new partner into your loving adventure 🙂 I offer Skype consults for couples who want to work through finding the right partner for their dynamic. Please send me an email and we can chat about your specific fantasy and relationship.


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Gillian Hanna Commented On March 24, 2017 at 4:06pm

I have, for as long as i can remember, wanted to be a part of a married couple but didn’t know, till now, that it’s possible… I came across a site with info around Unicorns and then suddenly the penny dropped.. thats exactly what i have ever wanted.. I want to be loved by both, be a part of their lives, and let them take care of me. I have never married and raised my son purely on my own, dating here and there but nothing ever grabbed me. I tried my first ever threesome this last weekend with a swinging couple and it was awesome.. i did what i have fantasied for years but never had the balls… (haha excuse the pun).. anyway, i think i am definitely a unicorn… yay


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    luna Commented On April 1, 2017 at 3:56pm

    That’s awesome you’ve found what you’re looking for!! 🙂


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InvisibleFriend Commented On April 10, 2017 at 1:03pm

Thx so much my friend .. look forward to discussing further and your incredible help n knowledge n advice .. peace n respect 🦄 Chris and Deborah


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Marla Commented On April 15, 2017 at 7:27am

I enjoyed your post. I’m researching the unicorn role and hopeful to find an experienced couple in North Carolina to show me the ropes. I’ve fantasized about threesomes for a long while, I just imagined it happening inside a long term relationship. Since I’m not currently in a relationship, this could be an ideal time to explore this treasured unicorn role.

As a divorced, professional woman in my 40’s, I enjoy my independence and single status. I am open to a relationship and should this lifestyle suit me, I’d want to find a partner who has the same mindset. I think figuring this out for myself first seems to be a logical approach.


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    luna Commented On April 16, 2017 at 6:14pm

    Hi Marla!
    That’s so exciting that life presented an ideal time to explore Unicorning. 🙂 If you’re interested in private coaching on how to find couples, how to navigate insecurities and how to avoid Unicorn pitfalls in this group sex world – send me an email and we can discuss what would work for you 🙂


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Chalet Commented On May 28, 2017 at 2:19am

Luna, my husband and I are having the same problem. We are a professional couple who want to bring in a female third but we have no idea where to start. We do not venture much into bars or clubs, not really our scene, although we do like to go out and have fun. We would like to start a new relationship but without drama and without any pressure on the third party what so ever. Would love so help in this.


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    luna Commented On May 31, 2017 at 2:21am

    Hi Chalet,
    You sound very thoughtful and clear about what you’re looking for – that is a fantastic start. I can help with working towards your ideal threeome, for example setting your goals, navigating any insecurities or anxieties, how to be a couple that attracts and connects with unicorns, where to find them and setting up profiles/ads. If you’d like some advice contact me about my couples workshops offered via Skype and we can discuss your ideal threesome and how to get there. 🙂


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Jay Commented On May 29, 2017 at 7:11pm

Hello everyone me and my wife are located in PA looking for our unicorn. Just having a hard time , can one one give us some advice on we’re to start looking?


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    luna Commented On May 31, 2017 at 2:20am

    Hi Jay!
    That’s awesome that you’re looking for a unicorn. It can certainly be challenging. If you’d like some advice contact me about my couples workshops offered via Skype and we can discuss your ideal threesome and how to get there. 🙂


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Dee Commented On May 31, 2017 at 7:23pm

We are also a couple seeking a unicorn in Florida. We would love advice regarding how to find someone.


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    luna Commented On May 31, 2017 at 11:52pm

    Hi Dee!
    That makes me smile that you’re looking for advice to help you have a wonderful experience with a unicorn. If you’d like some advice contact me about my couples workshops offered via Skype and we can discuss your ideal threesome and how to get there. 🙂


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Heather Commented On June 30, 2017 at 11:07pm

Hi there, wonderful article. I’m a new submissive in a relationship that is fairly new… He desires me to find a unicorn that wants to please me, enjoy me, and not want him. Just the basics if she wants him involved kissing and toy play by him only. How do I approach a woman with his wishes? I have been bi but never had both together..


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    luna Commented On July 5, 2017 at 2:12pm

    Hi Heather!
    I love that you two are clear about what you’re looking for, that’s a great start. I’ll send you an email and we can discuss how we can get you going on your path to pleasure! 🙂


    Reply

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