Handjobs can be an underrated sexual activity.

Hands are sex toys you always have on you. Whether you want to give a hungry, passionate handjob or a slow and sensual cock massage, it can help to have some tips to guide your giving.

Diversity of Dicks

There is so much diversity in penis shape, size, smell and taste. Unfortunately mainstream porn, pop culture and conventional standards of sexiness have led us to believe there is a hierarchy of penis preference. The beauty of the penises is that there is a diversity of pleasure techniques and pleasure responses to explore and learn for every body. Get curious about your partner’s body and get enthusiastic about giving it pleasure.

Is there a best handjob position?

Find a position that’s comfortable because you’re more likely to focus on giving and receiving pleasure if you aren’t putting a strain on a part of your own body. Some people like to lie next to their partner, head to head and toe to toe, for maximum skin contact and reach their hand downwards. Others like to be in a position where they get to be seen and can delight their partner with the aesthetics of watching them give a handjob. Mix up positions to see what’s most comfortable for you and your partner. Here are a few to try:

Standing with them bracing against a wall or you behind them reaching around
Explore them sitting with you kneeling and play with eye contact from this angle
Get curious about what you can do with them lying down - straddle their leg and grind yourself against them or sit on their face and stroke without them being able to see what’s going on

What do you actually do with your hand while giving a hand job?

Handjobs are fun because you can get creative with very simple techniques. All penises can experience different pleasure from techniques - so it’s important to check-in with the person receiving the handjob to get a sense of what’s working and what’s not. Ask simple questions like softer or harder or faster or slower? Pay attention to changes in breath, moans and other body communication that can help you learn your partner’s pleasure responses. Here are three techniques you can try:

Fist and Twist. Wrap your index finger and thumb around the base of the penis with a little bit of pressure as if you’re holding it in place. If the penis is uncircumsized, you can use this grip to gently retract the foreskin to expose the head of the penis. Use your well-lubed up other hand, create a fist and while holding the penis still, guide your fist over the head of the penis towards your other hand and back up in a stroking motion allowing the head of the penis to ‘push through’ the bottom of your fist.
Half Swirl. Grasp the penis just underneath the rim of the head with your well-lubed hand and use your hand to create a half-swirl motion as you go downwards or upwards on the penis.
Bouncing Jellyfish. Use your palm and fingers. Approach the head of the penis with a flat palm and allow your fingers to drape down onto the shaft. Drag your fingers up with pressure, as if they are tentacles grazing the shaft and allow your palm to bounce against the head of the penis. It should look like a bouncing jellyfish motion! Gradually increase the pressure with your fingers to give more sensation to the shaft and to the rim of the head of the penis with each ‘bounce’ stroke.

Give each technique a rhythm of consistency to allow your partner to sink into the sensation. You can vary each of the techniques by playing with pressure, speed and direction. Slowing things down can create tease and make sensations feel more intense.

Does handjob technique differ from cut to uncut penises?

Uncircumsized penises still have their foreskin intact. Depending on the person, foreskin retraction can vary - some people will enjoy having their foreskin used as part of the handjob to add a layer of texture, warmth and wetness. Other people might have a tighter foreskin and it could be painful to try to retract their foreskin intentionally during a handjob. Ask your penis-owner what they prefer.

What if I run out of spit?

Spit can be soooo sexy - but it is not lube. Spit dries up pretty quickly and robs you of the slippery texture that makes stroking feel so good. Use a water-based, hybrid or silicone lube and be generous with it. Approach it like you’re giving the penis a massage - texture is going to make for smoother strokes, reduce friction and enhance sensation.

Whether someone is circumcised or uncircumcised - lube is always important! For uncircumsized penises, you can massage lube into the outer part of the foreskin and allow it to dribble into the inside part by lubing up the head of the penis.

Should I be doing things to other parts of their body during the handjob?

The penis doesn’t have to be the only part of the body you engage during a handjob. Ask your partner if they like their balls played with and what pressure they prefer - try cupping balls, gentle tugging, massaging the scrotum or even just holding them. You’ve also got more pleasure real estate available with the perineum, the anus, inner thighs and pubic mound. If your partner is open to you exploring these areas, you can multitask stroking their penis and touching other areas, or you can tease them by alternating your attention between other surrounding erogenous zones (e.g. try kissing, nibbling, massaging, using vibrators) to create more arousal. Here are some tips for surrounding areas:

Perineum - use two fingers to gently knead the perineum in an inward and upward motion towards the front of their body. You can gently stimulate the prostate externally through the perineum.
Anus - use lubed-up knuckles to stimulate the nerve endings on the outside of the anus. If your person enjoys penetration, they may enjoy a finger, butt plug or vibrator inside of them while you’re working your hand on their penis
Inner thighs and pubic mound - try kissing, licking, sucking or even light fingers/fingernails dragging against these sensitive areas to wake them up!

Should I go one-hand or two-hands?

Using both hands can be really fun for handjobs. Two hands can give you a way to multi-task stimulating different erogenous spots on the penis and body. It can also help you vary strength and speed and it can be a way to change things up. Here are some two-handed techniques:

If your partner likes their balls played with, use one hand to cup or stimulate their testicles and the other hand can continue to stroke.
Wrap well-lubed hands around their penis and interlock your fingers and thumbs, creating a container to stroke the penis through.
Use the fist and twist technique but with both hands stacked on top of one another. Play with twisting them in a downward motion on the penis.

What if I’m not sure what’s working during the handjob?

Show n’ Tell. Ask your partner if you can watch them touch themselves. Notice if they stroke in a particular direction or give special attention to an area of their penis, what’s happening in the rest of their body and what speed and pressure they use. It’s like a live, and sexy, tutorial!

Soft penises like handjobs too! Whether your partner has an erection or not, a handjob is still possible. With un-erect penises, you can provide sensations that are different from handjobs on erect penises. Un-erect/partially erect penises tend to not be as sensitive, there is less blood flow so sensation is reduced. Which means, you can do things to un-erect penises that might be too rough, hard or uncomfortable for an erect penis.

Dirty Talk - Handjobs are a great way to practice your dirty talk. Ask your partner if they like what you’re doing, tell them how much you love giving them pleasure and watching their body respond and give them permission to give you verbal or non-verbal feedback.

Sex Toys - it’s playtime! Get those toys out. Try penis strokers, cock rings, vibrators and butt plugs.

Focus on pleasure, not orgasm. Sometimes we can get focused on getting to the goal, and we miss the opportunities to notice our partner, to ride their waves of pleasure and to find our own pleasure in giving. Slow things down, encourage communication and show your enthusiasm.