Let's unfuck dating apps

Things I want to cancel from Tinder profiles

6 ft...cuz it matters

It was patriarchy that decided based on a gender binary where men should be taller than women, as an expression of masculinity, power, dominance and strength. Women and femmes then internalized this misogyny in order to try to be more desirable in patriarchal (conventional) beauty standards, which are also conveniently white supremacist, transphobic and heteronormative as well.

Racial and Body Preferences

Have your preferences and swipe accordingly. You might want to interrogate your ideas of beauty if an ENTIRE group of people is unattractive to you because of a physical feature - you know all fat people aren't clones of each other right?

No need to advertise your casual racism and fatphobia so it's visible to anyone coming across your profile. If you're a person from a marginalized identity, it's totally fine for you to flag the type of people you'd like to attract, i.e. fats for fats. That's what equity looks like.

Will fill this out later...just ask me stuff.

This gives someone looking at your profile only your image to interact with you about. If you're ok with that, cool, then don't get irritated no one messages you first. Or get really good at engaging first messages. Maybe no one reads the profiles, but when you match - profile bios are an easy place to get inspiration to say something other than 'hey, how's it going?'

It also just screams 'lazy af'.

No drama.

No Drama." This is kinda dramatic isn't it? People with drama are not going to self-select themselves out.
Comes across as: don't have any feelings or boundaries that conflict with my desires/aka my genitals.

Drama is the name that is often given to people's boundaries and feelings that might cause someone to put in more effort than their genitals.

Here for a good time, not a long time.

Casual sex doesn't have to mean no connection. This just sounds like you're looking for a fuck puppet. You can use adult words and say you're looking for something short-term, FWB or hook ups.

Will send photos if we match.

Who is swiping right on these people? I sometimes match these profiles just to tell them they are doing photo-based dating apps wrong. 

Don't match if you're not going to chat.

Don't match if you're not going to chat." All this tells me is that people don't like talking to you. Negativity on a profile takes up unnecessary space that could be used to talk about what you enjoy.

It's also common for people who expect the other person to do the emotional labour of being engaging in a conversation, to feel that people aren't 'chatty' on apps. 

What else should we cancel from Tinder profiles?

Check out what others are saying on my Instagram and leave your comment there too! Stay tuned for Part 2!

UPCOMING WEBINARS

"I'd never been to this kind of workshop before, so I was a bit nervous at first, but Luna was so relaxed she put the whole room at ease and soon we were laughing and discussing creative ideas together."

Bella