What is pegging?
Pegging is a type of strap-on sex: where one person (of any gender) straps on a dildo to penetrate their partner anally or vaginally. Pegging is a fantasy or act that traditionally referred to a woman strapping on a dildo to penetrate a man anally.
The term pegging originally was coined by sex columnist Dan Savage in the early 2000s to give a label to anal sex that cisgender men received from cisgender women with strap-ons. The intent was to help de-stigamtize the homophobia around anal sex for cis het men.
Today, pegging can be whatever you want it to look like - people with all types of bodies, sexual orientations and genders strap it on, including people who were born with penises. Pegging is a type of anal sex. Some people might look like they are pegging, but for them the experience is anal sex or fucking or strap play or other kinds of sex.
Hot sex often involves a seduction of the mind and body. Pegging sex is one of those sexy opportunities to use both our physical and mental erotic spots to create many layers of pleasure. Think about what turns you on about being pegged or pegging someone - what do you focus on, what do you want to feel or have your partner feel?
Meet Bubbles! The dildo to make your pegging dreams come true. I teamed up with the fabulous folks at Freely Toys to create this pegging dildo for you! Check out Bubbles fine features here.
What pleasure does the receiver get out of pegging?
Besides the pleasure from anal sex and potentially prostate pleasure, the ‘peggee’ may also get turned on for a number of other reasons such as:
- Subverting gender roles
- Playing with erotic power exchange - leaning into surrender, being a gift for the pegger’s pleasure, or directing play from the bottom
- Enjoying the visual of their partner wearing a strap-on
- Receiving instead of giving penetration
- Exploring topping, bottoming, and switching
- Creating a special kind of intimacy and connection
- Being penetrated by a person with a penis who isn’t using their genitals (pegging doesn’t require erections or genitals to be involved)
- Physical pleasure from spanking, being held down, having hair pulled, plus differently textured toys and vibrators (including wearing additional vibes and toys during play). Consider…
Does it feel good for the giver too?
It might appear that the receiver/’pegee’ gets all the pleasure out of pegging, but the ‘pegger’ also gets pleasure. Here are some ways the strap-on wearer gets pleasure:
- Enjoying the opportunity to do the penetrating
- Experiencing the feeling, mood, and power that wearing a harness creates
- Playing with subverting gender
- Exploring topping and bottoming
- Roleplaying power exchange, dominance and submission
- Riding the pleasure of the receiver
- Free hands to roam their partner’s body, pull hair, spank, caress
- Witnessing the pleasure in their partner, hearing moans and seeing their body respond to pegging penetration
- Intimacy and connection
- Physical pleasure from thrusting against the clitoris or vulva, as well as multi-sensations like vibrating dildos and wearing vibes or butt plugs while pegging.
For both the giver and receiver of pegging, there are opportunities for pleasure in exploring something new together, fulfilling each other’s fantasies, and having fun with sex toys.
HOW DO YOU PREPARE FOR PEGGING?
COMMUNICATION.
Talk about the pegging fantasy with your partner. Tell them what is hot about this fantasy and share any insecurities or worries. Anal sex fantasies can bring up feelings of shame, embarrassment, sexual health, hygiene concerns, etc. Talking about your pegging fantasy outside of the bedroom is an opportunity to co-create a fantasy that everyone is comfortable with.
PHYSICAL PREPARATION FOR PEGGING
To prepare, pegging receivers might want to do some anal sex preparation that could include things like cleaning their buttholes, self-pleasure or inserting butt plugs. Pegging givers might want to put on their harness and move their body in it, and start to feel the mood the harness inspires - learning and practising their strap on and pegging confidence.
Get each other aroused with things you already like to do like sensual sex, rough sex, kissing, massages, oral sex, etc. Seduce the butt, pleasure the anus externally, use lube generously, and consider a wearable butt plug. Try a longer-lasting lube, like silicone-based lube or a quality water-based lube.
PEGGING SHOPPING LIST:
- My pegging dildo I designed with Freely Toys: Bubbles
- Intamo Pleasureables' Massage Oil - this massage oil is locally made in Canada with sustainable ingredients, plant-based and is cruelty free. It has a great glide, is hydrating - and is perfect for seducing the butt and butthole with a massage.
- Lube - silicone or water-based. If you're using silicone and your dildo is also silicone, put a condom on your toy so the silicones don't degrade.
- Lovehoney Booty Buddy Butt Plug - this curved silicone sex toy is ideal for beginner butt play. Shop in USD / CAD
- Lovehoney Harness Kit - If you want to explore an affordable strap on kit, this is a great choice, since it comes with a few different toy sizes and options. Shop in USD / CAD
- Unicorn Collaborators Thigh Harness - handmade by a small sex positive indie company, this leather harness is an ergonomic option for people wanting an alternative to classic harnesses.
- SpareParts Tomboi Underwear Harness - machine washable and very comfortable, this harness is great for people who want an alternative to the strappy or leather aesthetic. Just be sure to choose the right size!
Keep communicating, honour the butthole if it’s had enough, and remember to re-apply lube. You can use condoms on dildos to make for an easy clean-up. Condoms are necessary if you want to use silicone lube with silicone toys. Shop high quality latex condoms in USD / CAD
Remember: Pegging sex is a skill. You’re learning to connect to the equipment, your partner’s experience and your sexiness in strapping it on. This takes time, practice and empathy for yourself as you learn. With practice you’ll feel more confident navigating the dildos and harnesses for pegging pleasure.
