What’s hot about vaginal fingering?
- Fingers are sex toys we always have on us.
- Fingering can target the important hotspots like G-spots or A-spots really well.
- The internal parts of the clitoris can be accessed by fingers in the vagina
- Some people enjoy the intimacy of having a part of their partner’s body inside of them.
- Fingers can easily change depth, pressure and direction easily - which makes them a responsive tool for vulvas at different levels of arousal.
- Fingers can be non-intimidating for people who experience painful penetration
Myths About Fingering
Faster and harder isn’t always better. Tease with your fingers - create a range of soft to harder sensations to keep building arousal in your partner’s body.
There’s no tried & true method. Different people will prefer different types of touch. Fingering is all about communicating beforehand and during, while exploring a variety of different types of strokes to learn what feels good.
Fingering isn’t just about what you do with your fingers. It’s about creating a mood, teasing, making eye contact, or playing with power. Try adding in oral, bondage, or dirty talk. These will help you amplify the sensations you’re creating with your hands, and amplify your partner’s experience of pleasure.
Get ready to finger!
- Wash your hands or wear nitrile/latex gloves. The vagina has its own bacterial ecosystem and we want to reduce external bacteria the best we can.
- Cut, trim, file those nails! If you have nails that can’t be cut or filed, consider wearing a latex or nitrile glove. Adding cotton balls can be helpful to protect your partner’s delicate skin from being scratched or irritated.
- Get lube. Silicone (shop USD / CAD), water-based (shop USD / CAD) or oil-based (shop here) (not compatible with latex barriers) lube creates a better texture for fingering and can improve the sensation. Lube inside and outside can reduce friction, which reduces stress on the vulva skin and vaginal tissue.
- Ask them what they like. Some people will be happy to tell you and some people will be shy or unsure. Ask if there are any boundaries or anything that would make touching their vulva an awesome experience. Affirm that feedback is great and show your enthusiasm for getting to discover how their body is going to respond. Try giving options like, ‘harder or softer’ and ‘faster or slower’.
Does the clitoris like finger play?
Fingers are nimble - you can get into crevices, like the sides of the clitoris and labia and you can adjust pressure and speed really easily. You can use one or more fingers to increase feelings of fullness inside the vagina and vary the number of fingers outside the vagina to create broader or narrower sensations.
How do you stimulate the G-spot through fingering?
- Access to the G-spot is through the front wall of the vagina.
- Make sure your partner is turned on first, because the G-spot is part of the internal clitoris and the clitoris gets erect and swells in size when vulva-owners are turned on - making it easier to find and stimulate the G-spot.
- Start with sliding one lubed (shop USD / CAD) finger in slowly with the pad of your fingers curled and rubbing along the front wall of the vagina (towards the belly button). Rub with pressure the first 1-2 inches inside the vagina and feel for a change in tissue that might be firmer. Notice if your partner has a change in response to where you’re touching and follow their body. Check-in with your partner and add a second finger if they want that.
- G-spots like firm and continuous pressure. Experiment with speed, pressure and direction. Some people enjoy more intense thrusting of fingers against the G-spot but don’t start with that…start slow and intentional and get feedback from your partner.
- Try tapping the G-spot while consistently increasing the pressure or playing with the speed. Some people enjoy the come-hither motion while keeping the fingers inside the vagina and using the pads of your fingers to massage the G-spot.
- Pressure towards the front of the body and within the shallow part of the vagina is going to be most intense.
4 Techniques for Vaginal Fingering
- Finger cross. Cross two fingers while you’re inside the vagina and twist from side to side making half circles and explore if it feels different for your partner if you twist deeper or shallower.
- Change up who’s leading. Ask your partner to thrust against your fingers. You get to be their sex toy!
- Finger combo. Pair fingering with something else your partner likes like kissing, butt plugs, nipple play.
- Two-finger massage. Slide two fingers in and almost out, with pressure from your finger pads applied to the front wall of the vagina (towards the belly button). Experiment with pressure, speed and rhythm.
What kinds of sex toys can you combine with fingering?
Sex toys can be great team members for fingering. Fingers get tired - sex toys don’t. You can use sex toys to keep the penetration fun going while you give your fingers a break. Sex toys vary in firmness, weight and shapes - these are great features to mix up penetrative play. Many people also enjoy oral stimulation to their vulva or anus while they receive fingering. Engaging nearby hotspots can increase intensity of sensations and levels of arousal.
- Bring in a sex toy:
Dirty talk is a tool you always have on you - tell your partner what you’re doing and how it feels and ask them to tell you what’s hot for them. Whisper, make eye contact and combine your words with touch.
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