Is it important to spice up our solo pleasure?

YES. Your erotic relationship to yourself has lots of benefits, including:

  • Getting to know your body
  • Exploring your paths to pleasure
  • Embracing pleasure including but not limited to orgasms
  • Discovering new ways to get turned on
  • Feeling into our bodies for sensations and vibes, instead of performing for a partner
  • Helps us communicate our sexual needs better with partners

Like any other relationship, masturbation can get predictable. You might buzz one out or jerk off to help you relieve stress, fall asleep faster or because you like orgasms! Exploring new ways to stimulate our erotic imaginations and our bodies during masturbation can lead to more intense orgasms and new ways to get off.

Here are 8 Ways to Mix Up Your Masturbation:

1.  Change up your space and place by changing your body position, location or even time of day you masturbate.

You might consider:

  • Masturbating with your head at the foot of the bed or on the floor next to your bed on pillows.
  • Shower or bathtub
  • Bathroom floor
  • Standing up, sitting up, bending over
  • On your stomach or on your back or on your side

2.  Explore your erotic imagination.

Do you always go to the same type of porn, with the same bodies, same fantasies? Try mixing it up, explore erotica, erotic audio, and even just using your own imagination. 

Some of my favs:

  • For Queer and Feminist porn, check out Crashpad Series. 
  • For Erotica, try
  • For Audio Erotica, try

3.  Set the mood. It can be fun to set the mood for a masturbation date with yourself. 

Make a touch yourself playlist, lay out a texture that makes you feel sexy (e.g. satin sheets, fluffy rug), light candles and even dress up in lingerie or put on a collar or heels or whatever makes you embody your own desire to get into a masturbation mindset. Prepare as if you were preparing for a sexy date with a partner, how will you delight yourself with sexy ambiance?

4.  Be open to pleasure rewards other than orgasm.

Orgasms are amazing - they have benefits like increased relaxation, better sleep, decreased stress, increased knowledge about the body's arousal and pleasure. 

Orgasms aren't the only pleasure reward of masturbation. Masturbation can teach us about our bodies and pleasure responses, what feels good, what doesn't and also help us discover new crevices of pleasure. Enjoy feeling relaxed, getting out of your head and connecting to your erotic self through masturbation. 

5.  Get curious about other erogenous zones other than your genitals.

Our genitals might be the first place we go during sex, but our bodies have lots of other hot spots. Try touching yourself in other parts of your body, whether it's dragging a hand slowly along your stomach or playing with your nipples or bringing your anus into the fun. Get sensual with yourself. 

6.  Engage your movement and sounds.

If you're not going to disturb anyone in your household, explore making noises - moan, groan, exhale loudly. Stimulate your auditory sense as both a release and a tease. Explore moving your body as a way to engage more energy. For example:

  • Try fucking your toy instead of it fucking you. If you're using a fleshlight on your penis of a vibrator in your vagina or a butt plug in your ass, try grinding against it. 
  • Explore arching your back, spreading your legs, humping movements. See how they add to or take away from sensation


How often you pleasure yourself or whether you reach orgasms isn't as important as nurturing your relationship to your own pleasure. Whether every masturbation session ends in orgasm or not, you're getting pleasure rewards every time!

Keep exploring sex toy joy with my All About Sex Toys playlist on YouTube.


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