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Making things more exciting in the bedroom is all about creativity, communication and enthusiasm.

Delight the Senses

Bringing in sensuality can change up the way you do things you already get off to, can help you discover new ways to get turned on and can help you be more mindful in your body instead of your sexual performance. Make a list of your five senses and brainstorm different ways to increase or alter sensation. You can also consider ways to layer sensation, for example decrease one sense and stimulate another (blindfold + feather tickler).

Here are some examples:
Sense: Eyes
Sensations: Deep eye gazing, blindfolds, withholding eye contact, using a mirror, lingerie in their favourite colour, etc.

Sense: Taste
Sensations: kiss their skin with the purpose of tasting them, feed them fruit, tell them how good they taste, have them taste delicious things off of your body, play with their fluids in your mouth, lick your/their fingers after they have been inside someone, etc.

Discover Desire

What makes you feel desired? What makes you feel like a sexy beast? What makes you feel attractive? For lots of us, feeling desired, sexy and attractive are often dependant on external validation (e.g. compliments from others, looking like conventional beauty standards, etc). You can discover desire that includes, but isn't dependant on what other people think. Maybe you'd feel sexy if your partner was turned on by you doing a strip tease or by giving you a sensual massage or by them wearing something sexy you chose for them or by cuddling naked with no sex expectations or by sharing a sensual meal together.

Think: sensual, sexual, platonic, emotional, physical, non-verbal, verbal - there are many vessels for desire.

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