Do Most People Really Want to Have a Threesome?
Here are my thoughts…
While it’s hard to know how many people have threesomes, we do know they are a very popular fantasy. Not everyone that fantasies about threesomes wants to or gets to have them. For some people, group sex is a fun fantasy to think or talk about.
The number of people having a threesome is hard to determine because there isn’t a lot of published academic work on threesome behaviours.
In a 2020 study published in the Archives of Sexual behaviour by Justin J. Lehmiller, PhD, researchers collected data about people having mixed gender threesomes. The sample consisted of college students and online participants. Of the respondents, 30% reported that they had been in at least one threesome before. It’s important to note that this data doesn’t tell enough about threesome experiences for the average population. Older adults who are seeking variety in their sex lives, might pursue threesome fantasies to spice things up.
If you want to make your threesome happen, the first step is finding others who share your fantasy. How do you find people into having a threesome? You can try dating apps, swinger websites and your social circle. Before you venture out as a single or a couple looking for a threesome, think about what kind of threesome you want to have and be able to describe the fantasy in detail. Finding three people who share a like-minded fantasy is easier when you’re able to be clear about what a successful threesome would be like for you. Many threesomes fall short of fantasy expectations.
Get clear about what boundaries everyone has, what sexy activities are on or off the table,what everyone needs to feel emotionally and physically safe and what will happen after the threesome. It can be sexy to think about more bodies and all the hot possibilities, but in reality threesomes also mean more emotions, desires and insecurities to navigate. Practising empathy and good communication can make things more likely to be pleasurable for everyone involved.
